A Very.... VERY thin Line between...'
by WFROSE
Summary: Ranma has Fiancee commitment problems... they all need to be committed (Complete, heh heh hehhhhhh)
1. Episode 1

Ranma 1/2  
'A Very... very thin line between..."  
  
  
  
Ranma felt slightly disturbed.   
  
True, he was often extremely disturbed by the chaos in his life, but this time, he was truly disturbed. He looked down from the fence to find Akane still staring at him intensely in a way that caused nitrogen to flow through his spine. There have been times when Akane had watched him with such.... focus before, but this time it was different. It was very different because Akane...  
  
::CRACK!!!::  
  
"Ouch"  
  
...kept walking into things. Ranma checked to make sure that he hadn't put his boxers on the outside of his pants, or something for the umpteenth time. Finally, Ranma decided that he needed...  
  
::BONNNNNNG::  
  
"Ow."  
  
...to run, Akane was now just plain scaring the shit out of him.  
  
"Ranma..."  
  
The pigtailed boy stopped in mid-stride at the first word Akane has said to ANYONE all morning. No matter how much he had egged her on, he could not get a response from her. Ranma turned to stare at his fiancee with unvieled shock, as he was doing this from a rather peculiar position, being the one of mid-stride, he lost his balance, and feel flat on his face at her feet.  
  
"Do you think I'm cute?" Akane innocently brushed some stray hairs to the side and looked at him with big innocent eyes that made Ranma's heart skip a few beats. The way she was now looking at him was throwing his rational for loops, forcing him to fall back on standard recovery protocols.  
  
"You? Cute? I think that parked truck you ran into back there knocked what little sense you..."  
  
::CRUNCH!!!::  
  
Ranma stared at Akane incredulously, as she held him against the concrete wall he had been balancing on prior, with spider web cracks forming from his impact. Akane asked once again in a sweet and innocent tone that belayed the fury of which she slammed her fiancee around, "Do you think I'm Cute?"  
  
"Uh..." Ranma started.  
  
"ANSWER ME!!!!!" The intense stare was back. Up close, it almost seemed as if Akane was staring far off into the distance; not quite focusing on him, but was. It took a sheer will of effort for Ranma not to lose bowel control.  
  
"Yescuteveryverycuteevenpleasedon'tkill... huh?" Ranma blinked, as Akane smiled brightly at him, and then skipped on ahead. Ranma waited for the shivers to stop, before starting back behind his fiancee to school.  
__________________________________  
  
Ranma used his sleeve to wipe the cold sweat from his brow. Though he was focused at the front of the room, he could feel Akane's eyes boring holes into him. He wasn't the only one that noticed, as all the desks around her were pulled away to give her berth. Everyone presumed that Ranma had done something especially bad this time, from the way Akane just stared at him, not glared, *stared* at him. It was only coupled by the way Ranma was sweating.  
  
Eventually, the last person to notice Akane's new habit, spoke up. "Akane, if you find Ranma so distracting, perhaps you can get yourself situated by holding buckets out in the hall?"  
  
"It's Ranma's fault," Akane said factually, with her tone so even that it left no trace of emotion. It was almost robotic, in fact.  
  
"Fine, Saotome, accompany Akane out to the hall."  
  
Ranma snapped foward, "WHAT? I DIDN'T..."  
  
"Now..." the teacher stated in a tone that brooked no argument.  
__________________________________  
  
Ranma shuffled while holding buckets, attempting to ignore the intense glare that Akane was giving him. He would say something was wrong, but that confirmation had well already been mailed out and recieved.  
  
"Ranma."  
  
"ACK!!!!" The pigtailed boy exclaimed at the girl's soft voice, "Uh, wha-what?"  
  
"Do you think I'm pretty?"  
  
"...." Ranma said, as she stared wide eyed at the girl, like a bunny looking down the inside of a shotgun barrel. He finally managed to at least attempt to babble, when her stare became unnerving again, "Uh, well you're, um, that is, well, you see..."  
  
::Flick::  
  
Ranma turned his eyes towards the cool metal pressed against his neck, "Uh... nice switchblade..."  
  
"Do you think I'm pretty?" Akane asked again, sweetly, while only less than an inch from Ranma's face  
  
"Yes! Yes! Very Pretty!" Ranma exclaimed avidly. He would have nodded, but...  
  
With the press of a switch, Akane pulled the weapon away, and smiled vibrantly at Ranma, before picking up her buckets of water again. Akane looked foward, while sweetly rocking on her feet with a cute and satisfied smile that girls get after being complimented by someone important to them, while Ranma stared with more than a little fear in his expression.  
__________________________________  
  
"What's with Akane?"  
  
"AAAAHHHHH!!!!!" Ranma screamed from his hiding place in the tree. He had been paying attention to Akane's whereabouts all lunch, and didn't notice when Ukyo jumped into the tree and came up behind him, "Geez, don't do that!"  
  
"Sorry, Ranchan," Ukyo apologised, "Anyway, I'm guessing you're hiding from Akane, huh?"  
  
"Uh, yeah," Ranma stated, scratching the back of his head, "She's been acting *really* weird, scary even."  
  
"I guess," Ukyo commented, "She was watching you like a hawk all class."  
  
"That ain't all," Ranma interjected, "She keeps asking me questions if she's cute or something, and then if she doesn't like the answer, she gets violent."  
  
Ukyo looked Ranma over, "You don't looked bruised to me, Sugar."  
  
"No, not so much that violent, more... dangerous violent."  
  
"She's threatening you?" The young chef asked fiercely; a vengeful fire dancing in her eyes.  
  
"Don't get in the middle of this until I figure out what's going on," Ranma commanded to the girl, "I don't want you getting hurt if Akane's gone crazy or something."  
  
"Oh Ranchan! I'm so glad you care for my welfare!" Ukyo exclaimed, throwing her arms around the pigtailed boy and placing her head against his chest, causing him to freeze up in nervousness. With his stillness, he was able to notice something...  
  
"Uh, Ucchan?"  
  
"Yes, Sugar?"  
  
"What's that ticking?"  
  
Ukyo looked into Ranma's eyes with an oblivious stare, before the light dawned on her, "Oh, that. It's just the bomb I have strapped to me," The girl replied cheerfully, "Now let's just stay like this for a few more seconds, Ranma-honey."  
__________________________________  
  
Akane turned to the screaming pigtailed boy, as he jumped from the tree and took off running with Ukyo in hot pursuit,"Ranma!"  
  
The pigtailed boy only ran faster as Akane started to chase him too, "RANMA! DO YOU REALLY LIKE ME?"  
  
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" The pursued boy cried out, leaping over the school wall to escape. Only Ukyo was able to follow, but eventually lost him.  
__________________________________  
  
"What the Hell is wrong with them?" Ranma mused from the rooftop he was hiding on. Ukyo obviously had to be joking about the bomb, but that was a weird thing for her to joke about. Akane herself was acting like she was fit to be locked up somewhere plush with no corners. The changes happened reletively overnight, and decided that either this was a cruel joke played on him by both fiancees, or...  
  
"Nihao, Airen!" Shampoo greeted under her front tire.  
  
Of course, now everything was obvious. The answer just hit him, "Shampoo!" Ranma growled, while standing up aond confronting the lavender haired girl, "What have you done to Akane and Ukyo?"  
  
"Huh? Shampoo do nothing to violent girl and spatcula girl," The Amazon asked oblivously, "Husband, Shampoo have important talking, you come with Shampoo to China now."  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes, at least Shampoo was acting normal. She had been demanding the same thing of him since the wedding attempt, and he was going to give the same answer he always had.  
  
"Shampoo, even if I did like ya that way, you blew it. The answer's *still* no"  
  
"Shampoo no accept no! You come to China with Shampoo now!"  
  
Ranma breathed heavily to keep his calm, "Face it Shampoo, I ain't goin' with ya!"  
  
"Ranma will go with Shampoo to China!"  
  
Ranma turned away from the Amazon, and sighed, "Look, Shampoo, I don't mind being friends, but I ain't gonna be your husband! Get it through your..." Ranma turned around, and froze.  
  
"That too bad..." Shampoo stated in a soft voice, "If Ranma not refuse, Ranma no have to die..."  
  
The pigtailed boy took a gulp, and stepped back from the unwavering gaze of the girl. Her voice when she uttered the threat lacked the usual false bravado that hid the fact that she couldn't follow through with it. This time, it had a certain edge to it. An edge that would have brought up the same fear he felt all morning from Akane...  
  
If it weren't for the fact that he already had a healthy fear from the rusty chainsaw she was holding....  
  
Ranma mused that today was going to be longer than usual... 


	2. Chapter 2

Ranma 1/2  
A Very... VERY thin line Between...  
  
  
  
  
Ranma leapt, not even thinking about the object that just barely missed grazing flesh while passing between his legs. With a deft back handspring and an additional leap, Ranma was on the run. Shampoo continued to struggle with the chainsaw she had lodged in the roof, and by the time she had gotten it free, Ranma was long gone.  
  
"Hmm, Shampoo need sharpen buzz toy," the lavender haired girl mused.  
_____________________________________  
  
Ranma kept running in a general direction, pushing himself as hard and as fast as possible. Recent events were cycling through his mind; Shampoo apparently wasn't behind the recent... madness of Ukyo and Akane, and in fact seemed a part in it. That left Kodachi as the culprit.  
  
With a newfound determination, Ranma changed directions, and headed for the Kuno Estate, where the youngest Kuno should soon be coming home from classes.  
_____________________________________  
  
Kodachi vaulted over her front gates, not bothering to wait for them to open, and precariously weaved through the traps set for the Kuno Familie's protection. She made it to the front door with ease, and proceeded to her own room.. The young lady entered her room, and spun around while allowing a sigh to escape from her lips; her walls were plastered with pictures of her beloved, of the man she dreamed about ever since she first met him. Kodachi started to strip down, in order to prepare for a bit of fantasy self-indulgence, when a life size full body portraid of her dear Ranma-sama moved.  
  
"Okay, Kodachi!" the image demanded, while pulling itself off the wall, "Just what the heck did you do to Shampoo, Akane, and Ukyo?"  
  
"RANMA-SAM..." Kodachi paused, when she saw the pigtailed boy, "Oh, its you."  
  
Ranma was a bit taken back by Kodachi's contemptuous demeanor, but firmed himself, "Listen, I want to antidote to whatever you gave to the other girls, and I'm not leaving until I get it!"  
  
"I have no idea what you're referring to," Kodachi replied cooly, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other matters to attend," Kodachi went to her bottom drawer, the one that *didn't* hold clothing.  
  
"Not so fast!" Ranma was in front of the girl, holding her wrists tightly so she couldn't escape. "We ain't done until you tell me what's going on with the other three girls, and you tell me how to fix it!" Ranma's demands fizzled, once he caught the look of absolute fury tinged with disgust that was plastered on Kodachi's face."  
  
"Unhand me you WHENCH!!!" Kodachi began to struggle, accidentally tripping Ranma and her onto her bed, leaving herself on the bottom of the pile.  
  
"Uh, it's not what you think..." Ranma began to defend out of habit, before noticing the hard, piercing stare that bore to the bone.  
  
"You... how DARE you try to have your way with me, you HARLOT! I'm NOT THAT WAY!" Kodachi frantically struggled under Ranma, causing the pigtailed boy to lock up even further from the sensations the other girl was producing under him.  
  
Kodachi also froze, when she noticed Ranma's rigidness, and narrowed her eyes, "So, you are taking a preverse pleasure from rubbing our feminine chests together? I should have suspected as such, from the likes of you."  
  
Ranma's mind managed to focus on a part of Kodachi's statement, and wondered when he had gotten wet. Ranma's mind then managed to skip to another fact... that he was dry. That brought the indignation out in Ranma, "What do you mean 'our' femenine chests?"  
  
"Though you are a Tomboy, you cannot deny your membership of the fairer sex, you red-headed trollip!"  
  
Ranma managed to ask a very important question, 'Huh?"  
  
"What is there to understand? I DO NOT LIKE OTHER WOMEN!!!!"  
  
That upset Ranma quite a bit, "HEY! I'M A GUY!!!! Hold on, when did you find out about my curse?"  
  
"Curse? What nonesense are you babbling about?" Ranma was left dumbfounded and confused; this moment's distraction was all Kodachi needed  
  
"EEEEEEE!!!!!!! RAPE! RAPE!!!!!!" Kodachi screamed, causing her father, brother, Sasuke, and Mr. Green Turtle to appear in the doorway as if by magic.  
  
Ranma's head jerked to the assembled males of the household; Koucho Kuno had lost that idiotic smile he almost always wore, Kuno held his usual aloof expression, though his pupils were mere pinpricks, Sasuke's eyes were shadowed, but erily glowing with a red energy, while Mr. Green Turtle looked particularly hungry. They were all illuminated by a violet battle aura.  
  
Now, it took a lot to get Ranma nervous of any male challengers, but even he could realize that even Sasuke could be dangerous given proper drive. The situation was gravely serious, and with an expression of challenge, Ranma narrowed his eyes, and brought forth his Father's most secret techniques...  
_____________________________________  
  
The pigtialed boy crashed through the window of Kodachi's room, and didn't even attempt to tiptoe around the traps, as they were a lot less dangerous than what was in pursuit.  
  
"YOU NEED'N A HAIRCUT DAT START'N BELOW THE CHIN, KEIKI!!!!"  
  
"RANMA SAOTOME!!! CEASE YOUR FLIGHT, SO THAT WE MAY WIPE AWAY THE STAIN YOU HAVE BROUGHT UPON THE KUNO NAME!!!!!"  
  
"VILE CASSANOVA! PRAYING UPON INNOCENT GIRLS!! LET THE KUNO FAMILY RETAINER WRITE YOUR EPITOME!"  
  
"RRRRROOOOAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!"  
  
Before any of them could take pursuit, a voice called to them, "Halt."  
  
"But sister," Tatewake Kuno started to argue, "Were you not the one that..."  
  
"I am well aware of my actions," Kodachi interrupted, "But, I have other contengencies to deal with the insolent trollop..." Kodachi pulled out a cell phone."  
_____________________________________  
  
Ranma came crashing through the house, and ran straight for the kitchen. Kasumi looked up, as she felt a human-generated breeze fly by her, and looked up in the cabinet, "Hello, Ranma-kun, could you pass me the sugar please?"  
  
The pigtailed boy complied from his hiding place, and then asked cautiously, "Ah, Ka-Kasumi, is Akane home yet?"  
  
"Oh no. She said she would be having dinner at a friends and won't be back till late."  
  
Ranma sighed audibly, and opened the cabinet doors, and closed them quickly.  
  
::THOCK::  
  
"HEY! WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT?!?" Ranma screamed, as the steak knife vibrated in the cabinet door.  
  
"Well, I have a bit more free time before dinner, and you and Akane always seem to enjoy playing these games, so I hope you don't mind."  
  
"Yeah, well, I do kinda mind," Ranma retorted, and opened the doors, "That's pretty dangerous to be YIPE!!!!!"  
  
::THA-THA-THA-THA-THO-THO-TH-THU-THO-TH-THUNK!!!!!::  
  
"QUIT THAT!" Ranma shouted, and opened to door to vent his full fustration at the young woman.  
  
::CLACK!!!!!::  
  
Ranma sat in the cabinet, with his nose just millimeters away from the point of the butcher knife that he had trapped just in time between the doors.  
_____________________________________  
  
Ranma managed to sneak into a better hiding place until dinner time. He approached the table, and found Kasumi sitting peacefully in her seat, away from any sharp bladed objects. Ranma wasn't satisfied quite yet, as he glanced around, making sure the coast was clear.  
  
"Geez, Ranma, what's freaking you out?" Nabiki asked with a raised eyebrow. Ranma glared at her intensely.  
  
"You ain't gonna get all weird on me too, are ya?"  
  
Nabiki blinked, "I'm not sure how to take that."  
  
Ranma was satisfied by her answer; Nabiki was still the same ol' Nabiki.  
  
"Really, what's got you all jumpy?"  
  
"Yeah, Ranma, you've been acting weird all day."  
  
"ACK!!!!!" Ranma froze, but his eyes turned to the side to find a short-haired girl sitting at he usual position at the dinner table.  
  
"Oh, welcome home, Akane," Kasumi greeted cheerfully. Nabiki looked between Ranma and Akane, wondering what was going on.  
  
Akane started to dig into her own plate she served herself, but kept her intense stare upon Ranma. After a few moments, everyone was aware of Akane's attention to her fiancee, and felt a certain... tenseness in the air, but chose to ignore it as nothing unusual.  
  
"Ranma, do you think I'm sexy?"  
  
That, on the other hand, was unusual. Soun, Genma, Kasumi, and Nabiki paused to wait for the answer to this one; half of them still had their eating utensils still in their mouths.  
  
Ranma felt himself on the verge of a nervous breakdown, as he started to open and close his mouth like a grounded fish.  
  
::CHOP!!!!::  
  
"ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION, RANMA!!!" Akane demanded, holding the ax down between the two halfs of the table. That was enough to kick-start Ranma's survival instincts, and the pigtailed boy started to do what any animal in such a given situation would attempt to do... survive.  
  
Unfortunatly, before he could even bolt, the sounds of windows shattering all over the bottom floor of the house sounded.  
  
The residents' eyes, excluding Akane, as she was still focused on Ranma and awaiting his answer, all grew large at the militaristic and extremely well trained shock troopers entered the room, with M-16s drawn.  
  
"DESIGNATE SAOTOME RANMA, YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN SANCTION! PREPARE FOR DECEASEMENT!"  
  
This day was just getting longer. 


	3. Part 3

A very... VERY Thin Line between...  
  
  
  
  
Every weapon was trained on Ranma, as he stared at the one closest to his face. A bead of sweat rolled down his face at the situation; he had to admit, this was one of his more interesting days.  
  
"READY YOUR WEAPONS AND FIRE ON MY MARK!" The head of the squad commanded, and pointed his index finger of the hand that was holding the barrel up; ready to point it down so they could begin firing.  
  
"Oh, we have more guests! Would you like something to eat?" Kasumi enquired like a polite hostess.  
  
"Oh, sure! I'm fammished!" The squad member replied in gratitude. The rest of the gunmen voiced something similar. At the distraction, Ranma took off running as fast as possible.  
  
"HE'S GETTING AWAY MEN! AFTER HIM!" all of his men immidiatly took off in pursuit, while the team leader turned back to Kasumi, "Can we get that in a doggy bag?"  
______________________________________  
  
Ranma ran along the rooftops in the dark of night. His second sense was in full operation mode now; as having ten armed men chasing you tends to have that effect. Unfortunatly it was only tuned towards said ten armed men...  
  
"RANCHAN!" Ukyo jumped from her hiding place behind a chimney, and tackled her childhood friend, "What's wrong Ranchan? You look nervous."  
  
Tick...  
  
Tick...  
  
Tick...  
  
"Oh, poor Ranma-honey! You got the hiccups!" Ukyo exclaimed, as Ranma jumped slightly with every tick. Ranma licked his dry, fear-cracked lips, and managed to ask that all nessesary question...  
  
"Um, Ukyo, why do you have a bomb strapped to you?"  
  
Ukyo looked at Ranma as if he grew another head, "Wha? Oh, you're so silly, Sugar!" Ukyo lightly punched her fiancee in the shoulder from their prone position, "I'm wearing it so we can both be blown to kingdom come together! Isn't that so romantic?"  
  
"THERE HE IS MEN! OPEN FIRE!!!"  
  
Ranma squawked, as he crab-walked to dodge the hail of bullets, with Ukyo still drapped over him. Before he could become holier-than-thou, he found himself secured behind a chimney.  
  
::CLACK!!!::  
  
"There, now you can't get lost again, Ranchan!" Ranma screamed, as he noticed the handcuffs that connected him to the other girl. His scream was cut off by the repetitive hail of bullets.  
  
"Come on, Ranchan," Ukyo commanded, "We don't want to be shot now!"  
  
"LEGGO!" Ranma shouted, right as a stray bullet passed by his head. The pigtailed boy put his arms around Ukyo, and dove elsewhere before the stream of bullets could connect with their target.  
  
Ukyo giggled as she rolled on the roof with Ranma, "Ranchan, you ANIMAL!"  
  
"OKAY MEN, WE HAVE HIM PINNED DOWN! MOVE IN!"  
  
"Three minutes left, Ranma-honey," Ukyo chirped with barely contained entheusiasm, "Isn't this exciting?" Ranma mused that not even Atilla the Hun could have built up this much karma.  
  
"We gotta get off of this roof!!" Ranma looked foward, and with determination on his face, dashed foward and leapt to the next roof, then to the one beyond that, and kept going. He almost paused at the feint buzzing noise that was getting louder.  
  
"SHAMPOO DEATH FROM ABOVE!!!!" Ranma looked up to see a purple-haired Amazon dropping upside down towards him with the business end of a chainsaw heading straight for him.  
  
"ACK!!!" Ranma pulled himself and Ukyo out of the way, as the Amazon cut right through the roof.  
  
"Japanese roofs too, too weak. Need much repair!" Shampoo stated with irritation, as she climbed out of the hole.  
  
"HEY YOU BIMBO! RANCHAN IS DYING WITH ME!" Ukyo shouted, furious.  
  
"No! Shampoo kill Ranma!!!!" To ephesize her point, Shampoo made a swipe at Ranma's neck, forcing him to bend backwards to evade.  
  
"OVER MY DEAD BODY!" Ukyo challenged, while interposing her body between the pigtailed boy's.  
  
::RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT..."  
  
"DO YOU MIND?!?" Both Shampoo and Ukyo turned to the hit squad and shouted at the same time.  
  
"Oh, don't mind us, ladies, sorry for the inconvenience." the squad leader apologised.  
  
"Oh, how polite of them," Ukyo stated pleasantly.  
  
"Aiyah, is true." Shampoo paused, and stared at Ukyo, "What that tick sound?"  
  
Ukyo perked, as if being reminded of something, and lifted her shirt, "Oh, good news, Ranchan! Fourteen Seconds to go! Thirteen... twelve..."  
  
"What that switch?" Shampoo enquired, pointing to a notch by the timer of the bomb.  
  
"Oh, that. It's to reset the time..."  
  
::CLICK::  
  
"HEY!" Ukyo shouted, as Ranma retracted his finger, and sighed as the timer started back at three minutes again.  
  
"AN OPENING!" Shampoo shouted, and made a horizontal swipe with her trusty, rusty chainsaw.  
  
Ranma squawked, and barely managed to get his arm up in time on instinct. Fortunately, it happened to be the arm that had the handcuffs on it. With a spetactular light display, Ranma was severed from the human bomb, and didn't waste his newfound freedom.  
  
Ranma ran as fast as he possibly could, until he came to an old abandoned house. Without consideration, Ranma sought shelter in its dark confines. Ranma stilled hs breath as much as possible, and slowly looked around the room and listened for any anamolies. A ticking caught his attention.  
  
Ranma slowly tracked the sound, looking for his cute fiancee in fear, ahd praying that she passes him by; his sight came across an old clock that was left.in residence. It's rhythmic tempo pulsed through Ranma's brain...  
  
Tick...  
  
Tick...  
  
Tick...  
  
The pigtialed boy's breathing got faster and shallower with each tick. He was going to go out of his mind if he didn't get out of there soon. As soon as he was about to run...  
  
Ti-tick...  
  
Ti-tick...  
  
Ti-tick...  
  
Ranma ceased all movement, the only motion on his body was the sweat dripping from his brow. There was a second clock...  
  
"It's just a clock, it's just a clock..." Ranma repeated in mantra to himself, as he tried to find the courage to locate the second clock. He forced himself to scan the room with bated breath, and stilled his shaking. The full moon's luminese highlighted the tiny pearls of sweat that decorated his face, as his hearing focused for the second ticking. Much to his surprised relief, the second sound faded into the distance.  
  
Ranma let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, before he heard the sound of a piano playing Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata'. With a nervous courage of one condemned, Ranma followed the erie, yet beautifully played music, not paying attention to the inferred beam that was attempting to track his motion and focusing on his head or chest. When he found the source, his heart stopped.  
  
"Tell me the truth," Akane stated casually, never turning away from playing her music, "Are my breasts too small?"  
  
Ranma took a step back involintarily, not able to feel any warmth through his body. He flinched when Akane stopped, and got off of the bench. The darkness hid her face, giving her an erie spectrous appearance that made Ranma wonder if this was truly his fiancee, or an evil entity from beyond the grave.  
  
"Ranma...."  
  
"Y-ye-ye-ye-yes, th-th-they...." The pigtailed boy was having difficulty gathering his thoughts in the girl's presence. Though he couldn't see them, Ranma could *feel* Akane's eyes boring into him.  
  
"Are you saying they *are*?" Akane's voice held a laser-like intensity, and she stepped into the moonlight. Her face was doctored with make-up... lots of make up.  
  
Ranma's eyes went wide at the clownesque and liberally applied cosmetics, and something snapped. Ranma's eyes unfocused, and he began to laugh, laugh uncontrollably, as his sanity finally started to give way.  
  
Fortunatly, it had not gotten too far, and allowed him to duck the chainsaw that passed through the wall his back was against, "RANMA! YOU COME WITH SHAMPOO AND DIE NOW!!!!"  
  
"Ranma... my breasts..." Akane reminded impatiently.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ranma wailed like a soul seeing Hell truly for the first time. He shoved Akane aside, and ran by her to make his escape.  
  
"Hey, you JERK!" Akane shouted out at her fiancee, "Honestly, I just wanted his honest opinion."  
  
"Target is on the move, begin pursuit again." A voice stated through a comm. unit that Ranma passed by.  
  
Ranma's instincts were taking over, he needed to get somewhere safe. Home, yes home was safe. Just stay away from the kitchen. Yes, that's what he had to do. The pigtailed youth made a beeline for the Tendou Dojo... 


	4. Section 4

Ranma 1/2  
'A Very... VERY Thin Line Between..."  
  
  
  
Ranma entered quickly through the back door, as silently as possible. His senses were immensely sharp as was usual for animals in flight for their lives. Though nothing escaped his notice, everything; every sight, every sound, blended together in an almost confusing surrealism. To Ranma, it was all distinguishable, and oddly soothing in his panic. He idly noted that this was the same as right before slipping into the Cat Fist.  
  
The pigtailed boy's heart felt odd, as if it were an empty hollow that fluttered like a nest of moths, when he glanced towards the kitchen. He couldn't see into it, but could make out Kasumi busying herself. Ranma made his way silently to the stairs, like a hunted rabbit trying to evade the wolf in its own den, and crept upstairs.  
  
As light as he could be, the pigtailed boy placed his feet, slowly one at a time, upon each acending step, deadly careful with care not to allow a sound to escape. Unfortunatly, a stairboard denied Ranma this, and groaned slightly from its ill support.  
  
The noise froze Ranma in his spot, and without turning back, he tuned into the kitchen. The bustle that came from it ceased, and he could imagine Kasumi looking up, curious to what the sound was. Eventually, the activity in the kitchen resumed, allowing Ranma to take a silent breath in relief.  
  
He made his way to his room, before he heard it; the ticking noise. His fingers lost all tactile sensation as he pulled his hand away from the sliding door to the guest room. Ukyo was in there, she just was and he knew it and he couldn't go in he just couldn't he...  
  
Ranma slapped himself to gain some sense again. It was probably just the alarm clock. Wait, did he have an alarm clock? He wasn't so sure, nothing seemed so sure. No, he was sure he had an alarm clock. Had it ever sounded so rhythmic, like the counting down of eternity? Did it always keep the steady tempo that was in pace with the bony hand of death reaching to grasp his shoulder?  
  
The pigtailed boy backed away from the room; maybe he should hide in another room where he would be least found. He staggered backwards, and opened the door to the next available room behind him.  
  
Ranma took extreme care to shut the door after entering, and froze. The room looked like Akane's, he wasn't in Akane's room though, he couldn't have been...  
  
"Saotome, is there something I can do for you?"  
  
Ranma 'eeped', and turned around to see a passive looking Nabiki, sitting at her desk and staring at the pigtailed martial artist. Ranma recalled that Nabiki, she was normal, she wouldn't go crazy on him like the other girls did. She was safe, and that safety allowed him to gain his steady mind again.  
  
"Uh, you're not gonna, you know, go crazy on me, are ya?" Ranma asked with a shakey voice; it was better to be sure than sorry."  
  
"I wasn't expecting that question, I have to admit," Nabiki replied in a sardonic voice. She blinked as Ranma visibly relaxed, "Uh, Ranma, something wrong?"  
  
Ranma felt a great deal of relief at hearing the middle Tendou daughter's sarcastic reply, and slumped to the floor, "Safe."  
  
Nabiki raised an eyebrow at the young man, "Ranma, you've been acting weird since I got home, earlier."  
  
Ranma turned with wide eyes towards Nabiki, who scooted back from the sight of slight madness permiating them, "They're after me, Nabiki!"  
  
"Well, that top secret Ops team you had after your tail is what I presume you're referring to. So that beggers the question, why did you come into *my* room to evade them? I don't want your trouble, Saotome.  
  
"Not just them," Ranma whispered, Akane and Ukyo and Shampoo and Kasumi, they're all after me too!"  
  
"I think you cracked under one too many new techniques," Nabiki replied, waving the pigtailed boy off dismissively.  
  
"No, they're after me I tell ya! I'll pay anything! Just let me hide here!" Ranma pleaded, getting a rise from the girl.  
  
Nabiki took a short time to muse this over, before replying, "You're serious about this?" She sighed in exasperation at the pigtailed boy's avid nod, "Look, if anyone comes asking, I'm giving you up without a fight, understand? And you can expect to be paying through your nose for this, too." Nabiki said, while taking off her shirt.  
  
Ranma paused, and asked curiously, "Um, what are you doing?"  
  
"Homework," Nabiki replied, removing her undershirt while staring at the papers on her desk.  
  
"Actually, I was, um, wondering why you were stripping?"  
  
Nabiki threw Ranma a cold glare, as she lifted her hips out of the seat to remove her pants, "Ranma, are you about to tell me my little sis was right about you being a pervert?"  
  
"Huh? But your the one taking her clothes off with me in the room!" Ranma replied, indignantly.  
  
"Gee, if you're fantasizing about me, maybe we aughtta move the engagement back to me?" Nabiki stated with a smirk, while putting her legs on top of her desk and rubbing her inner thigh and licking her lips.  
  
"Stop that!" Ranma whispered harshly, while trying to ignore the girl's gestures.  
  
"Saotome, unlike some people around here who don't care, I *need* to finish my homework," Nabiki replied dryly, while moving her hand slowly higher up her thigh.  
  
"Not that! I mean since when was rubbing yourself and licking your lips like that part of any homework assignment?" Ranma became puzzled at the nervous look Nabiki was giving him.  
  
"Um, Ranma, you're starting to scare me..." She stated with a shakey voice, while her hands moved to her back to unclasp her bra.  
  
Ranma's eyes grew wide, and he turned around before he saw any more, "Scare you? Why the hell are you taking your cloths off and making perverted gestures?"  
  
"Ranma... please leave," the young man in question couldn't mistake the trace of fear that was in the other girl's voice, as she made her request.  
  
"I can't leave! They're after me!"  
  
"I'm... not comfortable with you in here," Nabiki's voice trembled, "Please, just... go."  
  
"I *CAN'T* go! They'll *ALL* find me!"  
  
"Nabiki? Is that Ranma in there?" Kasumi's voice enquired from the other side of the door, "I've been looking for him!" Before the door could open, Ranma shot out through Nabiki's window, and into the night.  
__________________________________  
  
Nabiki was one of them. She was crazy like the rest of them! All the women were insane! He had to get away from them. Unfortunately, his flight was interrupted by a Drunken Panda and Tendou Patrairch, both out in the front yard.  
  
"Ranma, son," Mr. Tendou greeted, as he put his prospective son-in-law in a vice-like hug, "I'm so happy that you're going to be part of my family!"  
  
"LEMME GO!" Ranma screamed, struggling in the arms of the man who was three sheets to the wind, "The crazy girls are after me!"  
  
"Oh, they're quite crazy!" Soun agreed, "Isn't that right, Saotome?"  
  
"Gworf!"  
  
"Why, I remember when my dear wife went insane. She started eating vulgar things, and yell at me for no apparent reason. She started getting fat, and hit me, she was always hitting me!" The Tendou Patriarch burst into tears, "Oh, I have such three lovely daughters!!!!"  
  
Ranma struggled in the man's grasp, as he changed to a she from his tears, "THEY'RE GONNA BE HERE! LEMME GO!"  
  
"Now Son, there's no reason to be afraid..."  
  
"I AIN'T AFRAID OF NUTT'N!" Ranma screamed, "It's just Ukyo has a bomb strapped to her, Shampoo is chasing me with a chainsaw, and Akane keeps asking me if she's pretty."  
  
"Oh, that does sound serious," Soun replied, the panda nodded in agreement, "Saotome, do you suppose that all the women are going insane?"  
  
"[Seems likely, you know how womenfolk are,]" read the sign.  
  
"That ain't all! Kasumi was throwing knives at me, while Nabiki was stipping in front of me and accusing me of being a pervert!"  
  
"MY DAUGHTERS HAVE GONE MAD!!!" Soun wailed. The panda had a disturbing throught brought about by his drunken stupor.  
  
"[Nodoka, what about....?]"  
  
"What about Nodoka?" an older femenine voice enquired from behind them all.  
  
"YAAAAA!!!! WOMAN!!!!!" Ranma-chan screamed, breaking Soun's hold on her and ran away as fast as possible. Both Soun and Genma stared in utter fear of the woman, as she watched her child disappear into the distance.  
  
"Oh dear, is something wrong with Ranma?" Nodoka asked, with a puzzled tone, "He's acting rather unmanly."  
  
"Ah, auntie Saotome, was that Ranma just leaving? I needed him for something," Kasumi asked, as she walked out to the front porch.  
  
"Has he been acting peculiar to you?" Nodoka returned with a question. Kasumi smiled. 


	5. Finale

Ranma 1/2  
A very... VERY Thin Line Between...'  
  
  
  
  
"Ranma! You Jackass!" Ukyo shouted, while throwing another volley of spatulas at him, "You're so inconsiderate! You know how hard it was to get dynamite around here? Now stand still and blow up with me!"  
  
Ranma's breath was ragged, not from exhaustion, but from exertion. Her mind was in turmoil, as she ran from his pursuer. She was totally off-balance, as every time she thought she had evaded one of them, another had shown up. If she could get a piece of himself, she would have laughed; Ranma Saotome of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, afraid of some girls who were acting funny. But it was more than that, it definitely wasn't funny to her. Something had caused all the women he knew to snap at the same time. Some outside force, possibly some weird magic.  
  
Whatever it was, it tried to see to the pigtailed martial artist being dead before dawn.  
  
Ranma didn't 'hear' Ukyo's shouts, she just knew she had to get away. Like a wounded animal in a flee from overwhelming odds situation, the redhead kept running, running until her pursuer was lost. The shouts of the irrational woman behind her faded as she gained distance on the rooftops, and then she dropped from the roofs to ground level. The redhead scoured the area frantically, and was met with the sight of ten men trained on her, and their employer was among them.  
  
The hired mercs raised their guns, when the noted that it wasn't a pigtailed boy. Kodachi stared right through her, almost not noticing her.  
  
"The pigtailed harlot may be heading this way. Make doubly sure you earn your wage when she arrives!" One of the mercs paused, and then looked back at Ranma-chan, who was nervously backed against a wall stairing at them with total fear. He shrugged, and continued to look for who was described to them, a black haired pigtailed boy of about sixteen-seventeen. The girl was more than likely startled by a small army of men with illegal artillary, nothing of consequence.  
  
When Ranma noticed the attention was away from her, her mind started to assess what just happened. Kodachi didn't recognize her, none of the men were shooting at her. They didn't know who she was! She now had a way to evade the women, by being one of them. Surely they wouldn't harm their own kind!  
  
::SPLASH!::  
  
"SHAMPOO KILL BOY-TYPE RANMA, NOT GIRL TYPE!!!" Otoko-Ranma jumped to the side, barely evading the chainsaw that cut through the concrete she had been standing on. Shampoo didn't look up immidiatly, instead her shoulders shook from silent mirth, the silence that was screaming decibels to the mad. A scream that Ranma was hearing quite well.  
  
Shampoo finally raised her head, her face had an expression of grim seriousness that was tainted by a paul bearer's joy in their duties. The worst part were here eyes; the Irises had dialated as wide as possible, leaving them to seem like twin black pits of lightless tar, maliciously sucking Ranma down into them, into where he would never escape.  
  
The sounds of several locking firearms brought Ranma back from the brink, but what forced him to flee, was the single word Shampoo said in an emotionally void voice, before silently approaching him like a wraith come to claim his soul for Hell...  
  
"Dead."  
  
Ranma let out a scream of fright, and instincts controlled him once again. His martial arts skill mattered little, he merely saught to avoid the oncoming fire aimed for him in his desperate attempt to merely survive. A million voices moaned and screamed in his head, all telling him to run, to hide, to get away. In his blind panic, Ranma bowled over two of the mercenaries before they could start shooting, and he dissappeared into the darkness, where the streets lost any light from the moon or artificial. The darkness would be Ranma's only comfort; it was his only savior from the chaos that finally decided to swallow him whole, and never let him escape.  
  
"THERE IS NO ESCAPE, YOU PIGTAILED SUCCUBUS! I'LL HAVE MY VENGANCE FOR YOUR ATTEMPT TO TAKE MY BODY AND SOULLLLLLLLL!!!!!" Kodachi's voice was almost shrill at the end. The sound of it rippled through Ranma, both physically and psiologically. He was only spurned to run faster.  
  
Akane seemed to melt from the shadows, right into Ranma's path, causing the manical young man to come to a quick stop and tumble backwards.  
  
"We can always be together, Ranma," the almost ghostly girl cooed, as she glided towards her fiancee. Ranma continued to crawl backwards from her, his eyes as wide as the moon that hung in the sky. In the background, he could faintly hear piano music; the song he heard Akane playing, "Yes, we can. All you have to tell me is..."  
  
"Am..."  
  
"I..."  
  
"Lovely?"  
  
Like a thousand glass shards that punctured his mind, any coherant thought Ranma attempted scarred his brain. The screams were becoming louder, telling him to flee, run away, get away and live. One thought, one almost subdued, hidden, caught his attention...  
  
'Find Help.'  
  
Before Akane could tower over him, Ranma shot to his feet, and leapt to the roofs once again. Ranma's analytical mind was still working somewhat, and ran through possible allies. "Cologne? Woman." "Mr. Tendou would be under their power, same with Mousse. Pops? Mom has him by now. Ryoga was unreliable at best. Happosai, HAPPOSAI!" Ranma's desperate mind grasped at his possible savior, and he only hoped he arrived at the Dojo before he left for his rounds,.  
________________________  
  
Ranma arrived in the house, all the lights were off. It was late, true, but it was still unusual with Akane still out. The pigtailed young man crept from the bottom floor, not wanting to go through any of the upstairs windows in fear of being discovered by a woman. He made it upstairs, dreading the few meters more he needed to get to the attic to find the ancient perverted martial arts master. HIs dread was well warrented, as Kasumi staggered listlessly out of her room like a marionette being skillfully played.  
  
She looked straight at, and straight through Ranma. Her smile, oh her damning smile. It was like a doll's; fictional, and lifeless. She tilted her head jarringly, as she observed the frozen young man; Ranma half-expected her to rotate her head all the way around...  
  
Kasumi's head turned slowly, agonizingly slowly, to the right...  
________________________  
  
Ranma was gone well before her neck reached humanly impossible angle, subconciously protecting his currently fragile sense of reality as much as possible. The moon shown down from high in the sky, and it seemed to swallow up the blackness in a sinister white glow.  
  
He couldn't take anymore, it was just too hard to fight now. He needed to get out of Nerima. Get anywhere, just away from there. He no longer had any destinations in mind, just the task of flight occupied it. He could not let them get him, he could not let them get him, he could not let them..."  
  
"Ranma-honey! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Ukyo latched onto him like a corpse of a lover, attempting to claim it's eternal mate and take it with itself to whatever damnable destination it had in mind. Ranma screamed a piercing cry, that forced Ukyo to let him go to cover her ears. His cry out, unfortunatly, alerted everyone to his location.  
  
Shampoo was now dragging the buzzing chainsaw behind her like a sullen child carrying an unwanted rag doll. It bounced and skittered across the concrete, screeching like the screams of the underworld's demons that skittered behind the seemingly posessed girl in legion.  
  
Kodachi landed from the roof, wearing her gymnastics leotard, while brandishing her most deadly weaponry. Her hired men scuttled out from their hiding places at ground level, and slowly approached with guns raised.  
  
Ranma jolted, as he felt a pair of arms encircle him, but his voice was too raspy, and he could no longer scream. "Ranma, tell me how beautiful I am."  
  
The pigtailed boy slowly slumped to the ground, staring unfocused, at all around him. He could hear his heart beat attune to the ticking clock that was against Ukyo's stomach,  
  
Tick  
  
Ba-doomp  
  
Tick  
  
Ba-doomp  
  
Both sounds began to fade from his perceptions, as everything started to fuze, and grow darker. He could feel Akane stroking his hair still, He could hear Shampoo's chainsaw being lifted from the ground, and raised high above him...  
  
Then he knew no more...  
________________________  
________________________  
  
::Epilogue::  
  
"I can't say that I approve," Nodoka stated, while sipping her tea. She looked around the table at Akane, Nabiki, Kasumi, Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi, "But I guess I can understand, and it does sound rather humorous."  
  
"Well, as much as I was against it at first, I found it kinda fun," Ukyo stated, with a sheepish expression.  
  
"Well, I have to admit, the expression on my son was priceless," Nodoka replied, with a small smile.  
  
"Oh, if you think that was good, you should have seen him in my room, I even had cameras rigged!" Nabiki passed the images around, inciting giggles from all the women.  
  
"This nothing, airen too, too funny when Shampoo show him chainsaw!"  
  
"Oh my, it wasn't proper to do this to Ranma-Kun."  
  
"And who's idea was it for the black iris contacts?" Nabiki replied, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Well..." Kasumi blushed, and looked down into her tea.  
  
"Oh, though it pained me ever so slight to even bring harm to my dear Ranma-darling..."  
  
"That didn't involve narcotics..."  
  
Kodachi continued as if she didn't hear Ukyo, "It was a lesson he well had to learn."  
  
"Yes, husband need to learn proper respect for womens."  
  
"For the last time, Shampoo, he isn't your husband!" Akane forced herself to calm down before a confrontation occured, "Anyway, the idiot did need to have his ego turned down a couple of notches. I mean he was getting so pig-headed lately. By the way, Nabiki, the tape of 'Moonlight Sonata' was a nice touch!"  
  
"You said it, Sugar, but we should probably apologise when he wakes up."  
  
"Nabiki Tendou, one thing still puzzles me. Why did you require of me to ignore the pigtailed hussy when I laid sight to her, and refer to my Ranma-sama as the harlot?"  
  
Nobody answered.  
  
"Where is my son, by the way?"  
  
"Oh, he's still upstairs, sulking," Nabiki said with some distaste, "You would think he, of all people, could take a joke." Nabiki sipped her tea, and flashed everyone a smile, "Whoever thought Western unnofficial holidays could be so fun?"  
  
All the girls drank to that.  
________________________  
  
Ranma sat upstairs in his room in lotus position. His eyes did not dialate at the change of light, he didn't acknowlege any outside stimuli. His mind had retreated to safety, and it could not be said when it would emerge...  
  
  
Moral of this story? There's a very... VERY thin line between a prank and reality.  
  
So try not to let your April Fool's jokes get too far out of hand this year, huh? ^_^ 


End file.
